Struggling, and a Possible Trigger.

I’m struggling today. Actually, I did most of the struggling yesterday and I think I know why. I woke up feeling bone-tired after a particularly heavy workout the day before. There’s no caffeine in the world that can pull me out of that. I started to think about shopping, trying to figure out if I could sneak out during my usual work hours and just make up the time later. I couldn’t get the math to work in order for me to go out, but my shopping brain was on eleven all day. I started to think about other days I’ve felt that same tiredness, and realized those are the days when I really want to go out and shop. It seems a strange connection, because I would think I’d just want to crawl into bed or read on the couch…but no, I want to hit the mall when I’m exhausted. I suspect it’s because shopping energizes me and does not require me to think complex thoughts. From now on, I’m going to keep an eye on this trigger.

Last night, I stayed up two hours later than usual (for that, I blame that coffee that I used to try to wake my weary bones). I ended up tossing and turning all night long, waking at least once an hour to think about how I could go shopping in the morning. The answer was, I couldn’t and shouldn’t! But that didn’t stop me from waking.

I made a firm decision this morning that I would not put off work to go shopping, but would possibly go after work when I picked up my son. I tried all day to resolve to not go at all, but in the end, I was not as strong as I wanted to be. I went to one store that I knew would have the one thing I was looking for, and I bought it. I’ve added that cost to my running total (the “big” November shopping budget I mentioned in recent posts) and checked that item off my wishlist. It doesn’t feel great, but at least I stuck to my plan. The leggings, however, feel fantastic. My weary bones will love them!

I also keep thinking about shopping at the Big Sale next week, again sticking to my list and budget. The bad news is that I started planning in secret, thinking about how to do it so that no one would know. You know, my old shopping MO. I have no idea why! After a couple of days, I realized I didn’t need to shop in secret and told my husband about my plan to go to that sale. I go to it every November, it’s no surprise. The monumental difference this year is that I actually have a (real!) budget and a list of items that I want to shop for. That’s HUGE!

However, I worry that I might put my sales goggles on and buy something just because of the price. I asked my husband if it would be a better idea for me to go this weekend and get the items at full-price, because if I really want/need them, then that’s what I’d be willing to do, right? If they happened to be included in the sale, I could get a price adjustment in a few days. In the end, he and I both think I can handle the sale. (OK, it’s weird to have typed that out.)

Now to make it through the weekend without more shopping! I have a 1.5-hour chunk of time on Sundays where I have time to kill, and until now, TJ Maxx was always my destination. Today I thought about maybe going to the gym instead. I do all my workouts at home but I do miss the rower! That’s a good plan.

2 thoughts on “Struggling, and a Possible Trigger.

  1. maa says:

    This link to exhaustion is fascinating, and I am sure it is common. I would never have guessed that the two would be linked.

  2. nupe says:

    I too used to do that, make a shopping plan. But a lot of times I made the theoretical plan as an escape for my brain, fully knowing I would never make it to the store. And not be disappointed, BECAUSE I had more important things to do (skip lunch and work, work late and work, pick up kids, see a friend, etc.) The times I would make it to the store I would have seriously ten minutes to shop or less if line at checkout. And sometimes I walk through annoyed that I found nothing, and sometimes I walk out with 5 items. To try and return later if they did not work out…then starts the next trap, the trip to return planning, the bag in the trunk, etc. If line at checkout, then put on hold for one day but probably too busy at work to make it back, saved!

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