I’m very anxious about school. My oldest starts first grade in a couple of weeks, and I need to make changes to his IEP. I also need to ask for some accommodations for his sensory processing issues. This stresses me out and I’m avoiding it as long as possible. And distracting myself by online window shopping. Anxiety shopping.

My son needs a few new things for the fall/winter. I don’t have a choice, because he keeps growing. He’s getting so tall! I can’t deal with even a glimpse of wrist or ankle on him when they are supposed to be covered, so I always make sure he has something in the pipeline. School shopping.

Between those two things, it’s been a rough unshopping week. My own wishlist has exploded, and I keep seeing cute things for the boys. I even did the unthinkable: I went into TJ Maxx. My boys wanted to go in and I went limp like a strand of overcooked spaghetti. I didn’t even pretend put up a fight. I spent five seconds in the purse section and found the will to move on. That, or I realized my kids were already wreaking havoc at the back of the store and I had to catch up. I prefer the think that it was my own strength that tore me away.

On my way to catch up, I tried on a pair of shoes, and promptly heard my son call out “mom, stop trying on shoes!” Oh, what a wise boy! I obeyed. We walked around to the boys’ clothing section, and I gathered a few shirts…and put them back. I just didn’t feel like spending money.

Somehow, I left TJ Maxx empty-handed. Intentionally. Not because I couldn’t find anything. I also didn’t even look once at women’s clothing. That is a feat!

My son probably won’t need long-sleeved shirts for another month, right?