Stuck at a Red Light.

I made it through the month of June without buying or shopping for clothes! The buying/spending part wasn’t nearly as difficult as the not-shopping part. I really do love trying new things on. But what am I after? What is the point of trying on new things? I already know that I don’t want all that extra clothing in my closet.

The other day, I was stopped at a red light behind a truck. It had a gigantic picture of the perfect sandwich on it. The (whole wheat, presumably) bread looked thick, rich, and soft, and the layers of sliced meat were curled at the edges just so. I wanted to eat it! And I don’t even really enjoy deli sandwiches. It made me want to buy that bread, even though my husband has been making our delicious, wholesome bread from scratch for the past three years. It made me think of how everyone wants their sandwiches to look just like that, and to taste as good as that one looked.

The ad team must’ve worked hard on getting the bread and meat (if they were indeed edible) to look just right. To look like something everyone would want.

…juuuuuust like they do for clothing ads.

When I see an outfit that I like, what I really want is to look just like that person in those clothes. I want to feel the way they look. Mysterious, happy, ethereal…

Yes, I was staring at that ham sandwich thinking of being ethereal, which reminded me of an article I read a long time ago that I remembered being very deep, explaining the flaws of the so-called ethereal woman. I just found the article, and it’s by the very funny Mindy Kaling! It’s true, though. Every time I think of actually being the way that most models look, I think of that description.

I don’t want to be floaty and unreal.

I don’t want to be anyone else. But I do want to be a better version of myself. Clothing is not going to help with that. I can write this a thousand times, but my brain never seems to get it. I just have to think of the sandwich!