Shopping. It’s what I do when I’m bored, tired, angry, anxious, annoyed, overwhelmed, or elated. It’s my default activity for when I want to feel something other than what I’m feeling. It’s my default activity, period.
At some point during the winter, I started online window shopping again. It quickly went from sporadic to daily. At first I justified it by telling myself I needed to stock up on winter items that were on clearance. Then I justified it by telling myself I need a new spring/ summer wardrobe (which is true). I had the sense to not buy winter items; I want this blasted winter to be gone, and want no reminders of it. I also have the sense to be very picky and restricted with spring/summer items. I want to make absolute sure that I don’t end up with a closet full of neglect and regret.
Still…I keep shopping and researching, researching and shopping. Oh, and spending. I keep telling myself that I haven’t been spending much because I’m being so picky, but after checking my records today, I see that I’m a thousand percent mistaken. It’s a terrible sign that I can’t even remember the few items I’ve only just purchased this month. Then again, they are out of sight since they are not weather appropriate.
I need warm weather so that I can be motivated to work out regularly again. Shopping is drowning me right now.