Last year at this time, I started feeling overstuffed. I ate to the point of feeling sick at every meal. I had been doing it for a long time, but for some reason, realized it just then and knew I had to do something about it. I didn’t want to feel sick anymore. A few weeks later, I read someone’s weight loss success story and it clicked. I started down the healthy path that I still enjoy today.
I haven’t posted in a while, but in this case, silence is good. I’ve been feeling overstuffed about shopping. Not because of Christmas, since I do all my Christmas shopping early and usually online so it has very little impact on me. But something clicked a few weeks ago where I felt like I didn’t want to keep trying to put together “perfect” outfits. I was happy with my closet and wanted to just wear what I felt like wearing, knowing that everything I have now is “me” — comfortable, fits correctly, washes well, etc. I just want to take a few minutes in the morning to get dressed, instead of agonizing about what I could put together to look photo-worthy even if it felt phony to me. It was a great feeling of relief. I’d had my fill of seeking perfection.
To go along with that, I felt sick of shopping for clothing. It started when I bought an upscale wool coat on deep clearance but still more than I would normally want to pay. It’s such a fantastic coat and I wore it as much as I could before the deep freeze of December. It made me feel like I couldn’t top it, the experience of finding something so wonderful, and I really didn’t want to. At around the same time, I tallied up the items in my wardrobe and days later was able to name almost every piece without looking. That was a great feeling! I know exactly what’s in my closet, and I regularly wear all but a small handful of items in it. I want to keep it that way.
This overstuffed-on-shopping feeling has continued for over a month. I’ve had this feeling before and (obviously) end up back in the pit, but for now, I’m enjoying it. It’s been reinforced a couple of times. Last week, I was dressed in a sleek all-black outfit. There was messy wintry mush on the ground and didn’t want to wear any of my nicer, sleeker footwear, but I felt like I didn’t have an appropriate option that matched the vibe of my outfit. I headed out to a big shoe store and searched high and low for something sleek but with a nice lug sole. I didn’t find a thing. As I was leaving the parking lot, I thought about my slush-appropriate footwear and counted three pairs, and actually said this aloud: “Aside from those three pairs, I don’t have anything.” Whaaa? I have three pairs of very functional wintry-weather boots! I just don’t have a sleek pair. I was sickened by my gluttony. I don’t need another pair. My footwear, especially in the messy winter, doesn’t need to mimic my outfit. My overflowing shoe storage area does not need an addition.
My second reinforcement occurred today. I needed to exchange some clothing items for my husband and decided it would be fun to go to TJMaxx and try on some things. I need nothing and want nothing, but really enjoy trying clothes on. I looked at sweaters for a few minutes, and thought “ugh, no.” Moved onto jeans and had the same reaction. Dresses; the same. I don’t want any of it, and the thought of trying anything on was making me feel sick. I was overstuffed from just a few minutes of browsing and feeling gross! I could not get out of there fast enough.
On my way home, I started thinking about this post and typed it up as soon as I got a chance. It’s a nice way to close out my first full unshopping calendar year. I’ve had a lot of slips and missteps, but for now, I’m in great shape.
Happy new year, everyone!