Another Trigger.

A couple of weeks ago, I broke my son. During a very weak moment, I shattered his little heart in a way I thought would be irreparable. Though at the time, I didn’t think he’d really take notice what I was saying. He did understand, and took responsibility for all of my misery. We spent the evening trying to repair what I’d broken. His words of comprehension struck right through my heart, as my words of despair struck right through his. He understood so much more than I would’ve thought possible. I prayed for forgiveness and prayed for his heart, which I’ve always said is one of the biggest hearts I know.

In the morning, he told me his heart was in one piece again. He told me that even though we couldn’t fix it last night, sometimes, you just need to keep trying and eventually it works. I basked in his wisdom that day, rehashing everything we’d said and done, and figuring out if I could permanently undo the damage. We had another heart-to-unbroken heart that night, and I knew it would be okay. He sprang right back to normal, a whole lot faster than I thought he would.

After those two days of emotional turmoil, I wanted to shop. Shop, shop, and shop. I had unloaded all that gunk and wanted to get back to my normal.

Several days and tons of wasted internet-shopping time later, I recognized it as a trigger, that post-upheaval time. I figured the misery itself would be a trigger, but no, the desire to shop came after the emotional repairs were underway and everyone was feeling better. Interesting, and unexpected.

My other shopping triggers have been a surprise as well: sheer exhaustion and sunny, bright weather. I would think that melancholy, gloomy weather, or boredom would be triggers for me, but they don’t seem to be.

I don’t go through emotional upheavals very often, but I’ll be keeping an eye on this one. I’ll also make sure not to break my son’s heart again.

Struggling, and a Possible Trigger.

I’m struggling today. Actually, I did most of the struggling yesterday and I think I know why. I woke up feeling bone-tired after a particularly heavy workout the day before. There’s no caffeine in the world that can pull me out of that. I started to think about shopping, trying to figure out if I could sneak out during my usual work hours and just make up the time later. I couldn’t get the math to work in order for me to go out, but my shopping brain was on eleven all day. I started to think about other days I’ve felt that same tiredness, and realized those are the days when I really want to go out and shop. It seems a strange connection, because I would think I’d just want to crawl into bed or read on the couch…but no, I want to hit the mall when I’m exhausted. I suspect it’s because shopping energizes me and does not require me to think complex thoughts. From now on, I’m going to keep an eye on this trigger.

Last night, I stayed up two hours later than usual (for that, I blame that coffee that I used to try to wake my weary bones). I ended up tossing and turning all night long, waking at least once an hour to think about how I could go shopping in the morning. The answer was, I couldn’t and shouldn’t! But that didn’t stop me from waking.

I made a firm decision this morning that I would not put off work to go shopping, but would possibly go after work when I picked up my son. I tried all day to resolve to not go at all, but in the end, I was not as strong as I wanted to be. I went to one store that I knew would have the one thing I was looking for, and I bought it. I’ve added that cost to my running total (the “big” November shopping budget I mentioned in recent posts) and checked that item off my wishlist. It doesn’t feel great, but at least I stuck to my plan. The leggings, however, feel fantastic. My weary bones will love them!

I also keep thinking about shopping at the Big Sale next week, again sticking to my list and budget. The bad news is that I started planning in secret, thinking about how to do it so that no one would know. You know, my old shopping MO. I have no idea why! After a couple of days, I realized I didn’t need to shop in secret and told my husband about my plan to go to that sale. I go to it every November, it’s no surprise. The monumental difference this year is that I actually have a (real!) budget and a list of items that I want to shop for. That’s HUGE!

However, I worry that I might put my sales goggles on and buy something just because of the price. I asked my husband if it would be a better idea for me to go this weekend and get the items at full-price, because if I really want/need them, then that’s what I’d be willing to do, right? If they happened to be included in the sale, I could get a price adjustment in a few days. In the end, he and I both think I can handle the sale. (OK, it’s weird to have typed that out.)

Now to make it through the weekend without more shopping! I have a 1.5-hour chunk of time on Sundays where I have time to kill, and until now, TJ Maxx was always my destination. Today I thought about maybe going to the gym instead. I do all my workouts at home but I do miss the rower! That’s a good plan.